SHOW ME YOU STILL LOVE ME. She didnt admit the affair part until this week. Im rattling round the house all alone, crying and pleading all nigt for my wife to come home, I love her so much, She never told me what I was doing wrong. We had a wonderful wedding She moved out without telling me on Valentines day when I was at work. I feel so antisocial and can barely muster the will to concentrate on a movie. He was two weeks into an emotional affair, and he says, wanted to do the right thing by not cheating on me. I caught her in an affair with a coworker and then found out she slept with my friend in my own home while I was asleep. But the reality is, I dont want to move to the next phase of what do I do if he doesnt. I did everything I could and I was under the impression that things were improving as the passion from her appeared to return. A homeowner was coming over to car to see if everything was okay and my son grabbed bottle and stuffed it between the seat she was out of it and managed to get back to the house where my son wanted to go home. Or when it is convenient. Look for ways you were critical or controlling. Remember when one door closes another one always opens. Its hard to keep it together plus take care of kids. Look it up. I feel very sad this happened to you but if she is leaving so quick without giving you a fair chance she may just be a self-centered person. Wow. She doesnt cook (not in 20 years I have known her, not a joke either), does not clean (although has started making some effort in this area) but is simply heartless to them. There is no shame in seeking professional support from a counselor or therapist if you need or want it; help is available. stop letting him treat you like a paper plate and let someone treat you like fine china. Because he was drinking. They often beg not to go back and cry that they want to stay with me just one more night. He has three kids I have two. My Husband Blames Me For His Unhappiness: 4 Things You Should Do? Permission to publish granted by Andra Brosh, PhD. A year ago I found out he had cheated on me and me wanting to be a good wife and loving him with all I am I took him back and worked on what he said made him do it. So, if you want to give your marriage another chance,watch his simple and genuine video here. Spousal abandonment, when one person leaves without warning, doesnt mean youre doomed to live in a perpetual state of bewilderment and grief. She has quit her job and spends the daytime in our house waiting for the kids to finish school and leaves before I get back (leaving the house a tip). They dont even have to contain a mother or father, they could be aunts, uncles, your step-family or even friends. Glantz MJ, et al. Seringes in trash can seringe wrappers in garage or in her car. Her husband barely talked to her. They would go to the same school dances. This is my 2nd failed marriage. Someone please help I feel like dying inside but I dont want to loose him I am in pain cant stop crying . a train when It stops you only have two choices get off and get on another train or stay on and go in reverse. I smile all the time, Im happy and content despite the mess my marriage is in. He wanted to book a holiday for me and my daughter( not his child bit they have become so close she shes him and loves him like s dad) and stay in the house with us pretend everything was fine and tell my daughter before we went away that we were splitting up and he would be gone when we got back,!! Was going to deal it away in 3 days if I would sign custody modification. How you feel right now will not be the same as how you feel a month from now. Why are you so hurt and feel this way? We had a solid marriage and two great kids. help me please. I banished him to the basement couch while I tried to deal with my shock and disbelief. This is tearing me apart. I cant believe that she will come back from this business trip with her husband and we would be able to continue on as we have and still have the relationship that we both have known to be so strong. Two days later I went and begged for another chance.she said yes and we spent what I thought was a day filled with renewed spirit, touching holding talking. College educated with jobs. Then I get her an Acadia. Weve only been married for the last 19 months. Ill never ever love again. My wife did not return home from work last friday (now tuesday), my son nor i have heard from her since despite numerous texting, although she has told 2 other people she is ok, these people are strangers to me, I only found out via a third party. Thanks CassieD. Change your life train. After 27 years of marriage, four kids, two grands, my husband packed up. This information was compiled from divorced couples, or as it may seem, long-term relationships. Her head kept onto the tear-soaked pillow feels like bursting with pain while she thinks about why her husband left her for another woman. She chose some other dude. And you can also earn back their trust by showing them that you can change. Hey there all. He sure didnt think that when we got married now did he. It took me about 6 months before I tried to get help and went to therapy. Think Ill skip the newsletter ty anyway. Left me 2000 to live off of after I got out of the navy from October to december. She said that she is tired of faking it. Over the Xmas period she started to become distant, but I put it primarily down to the fact that her grandad, who shes very close to, is now in a home with Alzheimers and it would be her first Xmas without him. 7 Reasons Men Leave Their Marriages, According To Marriage - HuffPost I guess Im just going to have to accept that hes not coming back. What about when you discover hes gay..by discovering multiple affairs he has had? He screamed at me in front of his son when he arrived home. The guilt. She was doctor shopping for pills. I cant imagine that devastation. He told me not to cry, he couldnt handle it. Common I tried police, child services, court all backfired in my face and I lost them all together for 7 months I WILL NOT get anything like that involved again as I have absolutely no faith in it. I asked my wife to meet me when she got off work which was later and later than years ago. Make a list of the things you didnt like about her and your marriage. Your partner met someone else. Here are just a couple of possibilities for the relationship ghosting: Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the level at which you recognize and empathize with emotions. Any opinions? We must move on, If I dont walk now Ill only get hurt again by him. Its going to cost me a fortune, but I have no choice. 1. Health not good. Sage, yah that sounds like an affair and it sounds like she is admitting to it in her own way. I love her so much, and have always been devoted to her, never lied to her, never cheated, never been controlling or jealous etc. I cant stop crying but dont know what to think. Terrific article, and do agree as my special area is helping couples reignite that passion, trust, desire. Anyone in a marriage affected by depression will benefit from the support of a counselor also. I am livid with her, but at the same time I love her, and would do anything to be able to sort things out and get us back together. So you have a spouse with mental illness, divorce is on the cards, and even though you know it's the right thing you cannot stop yourself from feeling crippled with guilt. I dont know if hes cheating. Just before our 26th wedding anniversary my wife told me she no longer wanted to be in a relationship. It's the one that causes depressed partners to say they're no longer in love and have never loved their partners. *the relationship feels like too much work. Not just on the weekends. I was up all night waiting for her and when she got home at 8 am, it really hit the fan. Her parents became yet more overpowering towards her and to my kids adding yet more stress. So instead of just reading, you can actually take action. After all I did to keep our little family together he walked out on us. That discovery changed my fragile mind even more it made my psychically ill and my immediate thought was that I had caused so much angst with this lovely woman that she changed her values and that that PAIN is what really kills me. If you would like to consult with a mental health professional, you can start finding therapists in your area by entering your city or ZIP code into the search field on this page: https://www.goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html. Hatred is not something u do to someone u love, even I know this. How can I make myself feel better and sleep better? I have been with my wife for 20years and married for 16 years. Right now you need to make the correct decisions for you and only you. With only being a year apart. I explained I couldnt make it and walked away. As woman we must always trust our gut, I wish I had so many times. There isnt anything you can do to change the past and make him stay with you. My ex knew the lawyers and judges, actually they knew me too, which makes it even more egregious. Its one thing to be emotionally abused its another thing to be financially abused. But from her doing that, she emotionally checked out from the built up resentment Im sure. emails me talks to me like these things happen. I was consistently reassured that yes, things were improving and I was getting better with my anger. Reading these comments has made me feel less alone and I want to thank you all for sharing. Failure to touch. Put me down controlled me ..I Was a walking living breathing definition of a battered husband. I have someone that they work with that gives me info and all they do is talk about me and say Im a terrible mother and person.. Hi, I married my wife when i was 22 yo Hes not acted any different or said a thing. Use your resources when someone is trying to mess with you . It is you used to do this , you used to do that. I told her no more. We all are animals A year and a half has passed and she calls me one day, we broke up and I need your help with the kids. I honestly thought she would grow up over the years or I could save her. I always thought our love for each other would conquer all, but I was sadly mistaken. I understand. 4 Valuable Lessons I Learned After Leaving My Husband I searched out an old girl friend from years back, we met several times for walks and just talked. Are you real? How can I do it? The visits start again Photo, Ondine Corewijn/Stocksy. Research on keeping couples together is awesome, but if youve ever been through a divorce you will know that statistics and research dont heal a broken heart. It sounds life a lot of work, but its not. How to cope: Try not to take too much of a righteous or moral stance. What would you suggest in regards to your post that you made some days in the past? I have to live at home with my parents to get rid of all the debt I incurred through the attorney fees and EVERY bill being in my name while married.